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Haircut

Mike to Jim – “Have you had your hair cut to get rid of some of the weight?”   Jim – “Mike, I have not had a haircut
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Cleaners

“Now, I’m not telling you how to do your job, but this is how you should do your job. I will also be emailing your boss about the
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Turkey

“Great place, super place. Can’t say enough about it. Lovely people and food. Would recommend it. Only problem is I got mugged at knifepoint there”  
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Town Hall Meeting

When invited to a ‘Town Hall Meeting’ – an Americanism at the very best (but the same invite that we have had received for the past 8 years)
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Global Unix

30 minute debate about Global Unix password this morning culminating in Neil stating “Just because you have written it down, does not mean its right” Transpires that they
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Food Poisoning

When told that a pizza left overnight could harbour bacteria and make you ill, he replied with “don’t worry, the lid was closed”
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